Strawberries
by CLAMP-yuuko
Summary: A summer day back when Kio and Soubi was together and Kio finds himself alone a warm morning in July.


Strawberries

_When he feels his silken skin underneath his fingertips he feels at ease. A lie. A simple lie and yet he is still happy. 'Would you stay?' he wants to ask but never does. Because he know the answer and an answer such at that was sure to break him. Break him into so tiny little piece it would be impossible to glue them together. And he wouldn't want that because then he wouldn't be able to stay. Stay and watch, witness the rise and possible fall of one so cherished. That was who he was. Who he is and always will be._

We are a camera, a point of view in the middle of the clear summer sky. We see nothing so we dive down through the blue atmosphere while we look for the two we seek to find. When we close in to earth we can see roof tops tiled with red. We know exactly what house we are to enter so it doesn't take long before we crawl through an open window and enter the bedroom of Kaidou Kio.

The harsh summer heat is broken by a merciful breeze and although we are just a point of view and can't feel heat or cold we can imagine the winds blessing on a warm day like this. The wind is let in through the window and sweeps across the bedroom like something sent from the gods - that's how good it felt.

We rise our gaze to find out who sleeps in the bed by the window. We can see blond strands of hair sticking out from beneath the sheets and assume it is Kio. We feel slightly disappointed that there is no one there with him because there clearly should. We watch Kio for a while, watch his chest rise and fall from under the thin summer blankets. He breathes peacefully clearly exhausted from last nights attributes. After a while of observing we decide to take a quick survey of the room, watch for effects to learn more about the relationship so interesting to us. We can't however find anything worth our attention. The room is as stripped for personal effects as a hotel room. And although we find a open chupa left on the kitchen table we can't but assume it is Kio's and no one else's.

When we turn our attention back to Kio he has awakened. He rubs his eyes warily gazing out into the utterly empty room with sleepy eyes. He can't see us of course. We are nothing but a mere view. An invisible camera if you will and there is no comfort in our presence. It doesn't take long before he noticed just how alone he is. He runs the silk sheets under his hand on his right side. They have lost all warmth if they ever had any. He wonders of he had been dreaming it seems. He rubs his head messing up his hair before stretching. Bare feet meets the cold wooden floor and he walks away from the bed and sits down by the kitchen table with the opened chupa. He sighs clearly distressed but not hateful. He had it coming.

He rubs his hands together to gather some heat and looks over to the fireplace - black and empty and although the memory of flames dancing wildly yesterday it only pains him all the more. He flips out his cellphone and gives another sigh. Not a note, not even a message. Even Soubi had come to another low-point.

We know he thinks of Soubi. Soubi and Kio are the ones we have been looking for. But now we only find Kio and we know it is wrong. They were two yesterday, we know that for a fact, and now Kio is alone. Where is Soubi is the natural question to follow. But we don't care to ask it because just then someone comes through the door.

Soubi enters the room without knocking. He has opened the door to Kio's house by himself, with his own key he had recieved months ago. He locks the door after him making a point out of not looking at Kio by the kitchen table. Kio and his opened chupa. Without a word from any of them he sits down on the other side of the table. Finally he smiles and we feel joy filling our hearts. Kio, however, doesn't. He does lower his gaze however and sees the same as we. Blood. Blood has tainted Soubi's bandages around his neck. Like little red puddles they spread, deep red in the center, faint pink in the edges. We feel the same disgust as Kio.

"Don't look at me like that," Soubi says his eyes hardening.

"Look at you like what?" Kio answers stubborn and crosses his arms in front of his chest.

"Like you are angry."

"Of course I am angry!" Kio yells and we see that he really is enraged, no chupa is dangling from his mouth. "How can you let him treat you like that! You are insane Sou-chan! I know that you like it, I guess that can't be helped, but don't you see that it hurts me? That it hurts you!"

We want to go closer, zoom up to watch Kio's eyes. But we know we can't because the dept of some one's eyes can only truly be seen by those involved and since we clearly are not, it does not serve any purpose. But although we can't witness it directly we can still assume. Assume and imagine and we imagine that Kio is on the verge of crying. He feels anger in his heart and desperation in his mind. He knows he can never be truly happy, nevertheless he wants to help. That is how Kio is. Why he still is around Soubi. It is the way Kio puts up with the pain he inflicts on himself by being with Soubi that makes the two of them alike. Both just as stubborn and both masochistic to the level of insanity.

"Take a chupa," Soubi says and our attention moves over to him. We can see a small smile has appeared on his lips like in some sort of atonement.

"Don't smirk at me like that!" we knew he would answer. "And don't tell me when to take a chupa!" nevertheless he does take one. Not the one stickied to the kitchen table but a fresh new one from a cup serving like a lollipop pencil stand.

"I bought you strawberries," Soubi continues placing a basket of red berries on the table. Kio's eyes widen. He licks his chupa carefully inside his mouth. We thinks he is fooled. Even just for a blissful moment.

"They were not for me," the smile underneath his face does not reach the surface.

"I guess you are right."

Our heart cringes when we see this scene in front of us. We, just as Kio, hopes for something impossible. We assume that it lies in the human nature to hope even though it is forfeited. That way human can live in even impossible circumstances. That is their strength. Soubi eventually stands up, Kio remains seated. He walks over to the door again, unlocks it, turns around. He smiles to Kio.

"I'll be back in the evening," he says and we scowl at him. Kio does not. He smiles. It was, after all, everything he dared hope for.

When Kio is back alone again he removes the chupa from his mouth and reaches for a strawberry. The world outside seems take a rest because the wind is the only thing he can hear from outside. No footsteps, no extra 'goodbye'. Just as any other day. His lips closes around the red berry and when he bites down, he knows why. A sour taste fills his mouth and he quickly swallows. Of course. And even though they all tasted the same Kio keeps eating the whole basket and we silently watch feeling sorry for a wish that is never to be fulfilled in other things than mere dreams and hopes.

_We watch and he doesn't know, and therefor he silently cries when everyone else is gone._


End file.
